Unnoticed
by Krazy Ky-Sta Hatter
Summary: Rose feels strange. And it all started after their adventure to New Earth. Why doesn't the Doctor seem to notice that something is wrong? And why does it seem that they are stuck so far apart, when they are right next to each other?
1. Trapped Inside

_**Hello again! Yes, I have started ANOTHER one. But in all fairness, the idea behind this one is bloody BRILLIANT! Seriously, it is. I wonder if anyone else picked up on this connection. It was inspired by one line in 'New Earth'… But I won't tell you what one yet.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

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><p>.<p>

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***Unnoticed***

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**Trapped Inside**

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The Face of Boe just stared at the two people before him. The Doctor, so desperate for answers, and the Rose-that-wasn't-really-Rose, who was looking bored and sarcastic. He had so many fond memories of the both of them. Rose was like a little sister to him, and the Doctor his best friend.

He wanted so badly to tell them, to warn them of the horrid fate that Rose was to face. But he couldn't. He couldn't disrupt the timelines. That was one thing that millennia upon millennia had taught him, and he refused to break that rule. Even for the people he loved most.

He looked at the two of them. Someday soon he would be heartbroken… and she would be heartbroken and dying. He had seen them out the window as they had arrived, before Rose had been kidnapped by that bitchy trampoline. They had looked so happy. It tore him apart to know that was all about to change.

It was too early to tell his secret. The Doctor couldn't know. He could hold on longer… hold off dying just long enough to give him one last message… When the time was right. "We shall meet again, Doctor, for the third time... for the last time... and the truth shall be told," he said mysteriously. "Until that day..." And then he teleported out, before he could say what he was dying to scream out at them.

Because their time was up.

**?...DW…?**

Rose splayed her fingers and stretched her hands. She felt really odd. Quite frankly, she blamed Cassandra. It had been hell with that stupid cow jammed inside her head. It had left her with an awful headache. She was kind of jealous of the Doctor. He wasn't suffering any side effects. (Darn superior Time Lord biology).

But what got to her most is how she felt about Cassandra. How could she feel so bad, so sorry for someone who had done her worst to try and kill her?

She sighed as she stretched again, not caring how she looked as she contorted her body to get everything that felt out of place, which was, well… everything.

"Are you alright?" the Doctor asked her, eyeing her warily from the other side of the console.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied. "Just a little stiff and disoriented."

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Yeah. She did just lie to the Doctor. But what would he think if she told him that she felt like she was trapped. Not just as if there were walls pressing in all around her… it did actually feel like that and it was starting to freak her out and make her feel claustrophobic. But also, she felt as if she were trapped insider her head. Like she was screaming to get out. It was the same feeling she had when Cassandra had taken over… only this time she had control of her body.

It just wasn't right. The Doctor would think she were mad, or worse, still possessed by something. And she wasn't. She wasn't mad. And she was just her self, normal old, simple Rose Tyler. So she blamed Cassandra. It was all that stupid psychograft machine's fault. It was making her feel strange. Hopefully the feeling didn't last too much longer.

"You sure you're okay?" the Doctor asked again, seeing the look on her face. "Cassandra was in your mind for quite a long time. Sifted around in there a little even. Something could be damaged."

"I'll be okay, Doctor," she laughed nervously. They were both avoiding talking about what Cassandra had said about Rose's thoughts… "I just need to sleep it off. Not everyone has superior biology you know." Instead of laughing like he should have, this only made the Doctor frown more. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, shrugging out of it. "Just thinking. Stupid really. Never mind me. You go get some rest. The sooner you're back to normal, the sooner we can be running around again… Although, this time we'll go somewhere nice. I quite liked relaxing on that hill. Yes, definitely doing that again."

Rose grinned as he babbled on mostly to himself. "Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Rose."

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He watched as Rose retreated down the hall to her room, the events of the day swirling around in his head. But the one thing he couldn't push down, nor push from his mind, was the image of Rose kissing him, and the disappointment that it hadn't really been her…

_Disappointment!_ Rassilon, he really was in too deep, wasn't he. What was it about her that was different? He had many companions and a few that probably had fancied him, even complete strangers. He had cared for his past companions very much, but he had never lo- …cared for one so deeply before. What was so different about Rose Tyler?

For the billionth time that day he heard his own voice as Cassandra's words poured from his lips. '_You've been looking… you like it_.' Him, they'd been talking about him and his body… Well, at least he didn't have to worry that Rose didn't like him in this incarnation. That was a fear that had been tugging at the back of his mind the moment he had seen how scared she'd been after he regenerated.

But no, he couldn't. He'd known that even as he kissed her, taking the Time Vortex from her body. She was human, she could never be his. '_My Doctor… protected from the false god.'_ He closed his eyes painfully. He was hers… she had no idea just how much. It was so much that it terrified him. Because he was in too deep… and he didn't know if he could cope losing her. He'd already lost everything else. She was the one thing he had left…

Okay, well, he had the TARDIS. He needed the TARDIS very much. It was the last piece of his home. It scared him that he was even putting Rose over the possession of his TARDIS. He loved his TARDIS! Loved his R-

STOP!

Trying to work out the frustrations of his mind, he set to work under the console. It really didn't help that this body was made specifically to suit the blonde woman sleeping just down the hall. She had liked pretty boys; he'd pointed that out to her many times. He could just hear what his ninth incarnation would be saying if he could see himself now.

But it wasn't just the looks, it was the voice, the shape, everything. It was strange that their hands were so different in size and shape, yet fit together so perfectly, just as her body moulded to his.

It also didn't help that he was much more touchy feely in this incarnation. He was constantly moving, touching things, tasting things… craving to touch her and hold her and feel her in his arms. He really did like hugs… but they were better from Rose.

He worked harder, trying to keep his mind off Rose. He was barely paying attention to what he was tinkering with. And then he heard it. Just a faint whimper, but oh, it stopped his hearts. The whimper came again and he realised that the TARDIS was projecting the sound over the speakers.

In less than a second, he was up and sprinting for Rose's room.

**?...DW…?**

_Her vision was blurred, but she could still see the people before her. Catkind… Sisters of Plenitude. She could see their cream coloured wimples starkly against the dark walls. One of them came over with a syringe in her gloved hand and stuck it into her arm, drawing blood._

_She whimpered as she found she couldn't move. Her wrists and ankles were strapped to the side of what ever the hell she was in. The wimple wearing cat turned her cold, calculating eyes upon her at the movement._

"_Sister Kade, It's awake," she said. "Do we follow usual procedure?"_

"_No, Sister Tink," Sister Kade replied. "Matron Casp wants this one for a long time. It's blood could possibly give us a new cure per day."_

"_Per day!" Sister Tink exclaimed. "All from one piece of flesh?"_

"_That's what she said. I wasn't given the details. Perhaps you could ask her once quarantine is over."_

"_Wonder what it is this time," Tink said in a board tone._

"_Doctor…" her feeble voice called out._

"_It's speaking," Tink said, still with a slight air of disinterest and disgust. "Are you sure we shouldn't incinerate It?"_

"_Our orders were quite clear. We need this one. Now let's hurry up and run these tests so we can put It back. It's eyes are starting to unnerve me."_

"_Help me…"_

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"Rose!" the cry startled her. Rose looked up to see the anxious face of the Doctor hovering above her. His hands were on her shoulders and he was quite close. She found that she was shaking and she felt her face crumple. She grabbed him tightly by his shirt and pulled him to her, curling into his chest as she began to sob.

"I was so alone!" she gasped out as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly and shifting on the bed to make them more comfortable. "I was so scared and so alone. And they were so cold. They didn't think I was actually someone. They just wanted to run test on me. They wanted to kill me because I was awake. And I was so, so scared. And so alone. And you were gone…" The rest of her words became incoherent amongst her sobs.

"It's okay, it's okay, Rose," the Doctor soothed, stoking her hair. "You're safe here with me."

"It-it was those cat ladies at the hospital. It felt so real."

"It probably was real," he mused softly. Rose looked up at him, panicked and shocked. "Not to you," he amended quickly. "I'm just thinking… Cassandra had access to your mind. But your mind wasn't the only one. She couldn't get to mine, because I was blocking it off. But she also went into that woman, the one who was infected. I'm thinking that perhaps she accidentally transferred some of that woman's memories over to you."

"It was so horrible," was all Rose could say, snuggling in tighter still. "Promise me we're never going back there. Not ever!"

"Alright," he agreed. "The hospital, New Earth… I'll never take you anywhere you don't want to go."

"Thank you… Oh, and Doctor?" she said, her voice shaking. Suddenly she lifted her face up to his and kissed him fiercely, bringing it down to a soft gentle kiss at the end. He just blinked at her in shock and bewilderment. "That's how I kiss, for future reference."

"Okay…" he croaked. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier. I mean, I knew something was wrong. You were acting really strange. But it wasn't until we saw all the infected people that I knew it wasn't really you. Didn't even fully suspect that until you started going on about how to get into intensive care. You're brilliant and so, so smart - don't get me wrong - but you wouldn't have been able to know what the protocols were. Before then I just thought you were being silly, having a laugh… I'm so sorry." Rose said nothing. He continued to hold her and comfortingly stoke her hair until the sobs subsided. She was practically asleep in his arms. "Come on," he said gently. "You're exhausted. You need some sleep."

He tried to lay her back and position her on the bed, but she clung to him desperately when he tried to move away. "No! Stay with me, please!" He hesitated; then, reluctantly he nodded and curled in beside her, letting her take comfort in him. "Doctor," she mumbled, now mostly asleep. "We have to go back. Please you have to come back."

He chuckled softly. "Make up your mind, Rose. It's the apple grass isn't it?" He got no reply; she was dead to the world.

The Doctor sighed and pulled her closer to him. Today really had been rough on her. He didn't even know how much…


	2. You Weren't There

**You Weren't There**

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Rose stared up at the creepy carnival mask of the clockwork droid. Its blade, so close, poised to cut into her throat. Lying here on this table, she felt nauseated. How many people had lain here before her and been slaughtered? Her first attempt to talk to them hadn't worked. She felt as if she were going to throw up.

For a moment, the world flashed before her. The metal of the ship melted and became walls of dark stone. The dim light became harsh fluorescents. There was no longer a droid before her, but a Sister of Plenitude, needle at the ready.

"_We'll never get 'Bliss' at this rate. Hurry up and extract the chemicals," one snapped from somewhere she couldn't see._

"_It's the wrong time, Sister Laan. She's not even peaceful. It's the wrong situation," the one with the needle replied._

A flash, that's all it was. In the flash of a second the vision was gone and the spaceship was back. And the blade was once again spinning horribly close to her jugular.

Frantically she tried again to talk their way out of it. To warn them that the Doctor would stop them… Thankfully at that moment she heard him… No, scratch that - the 'thankfully' part - he sounded like an utter idiot! She watched as he came sliding in with a glass of wine in his hand and his tie around his forehead. Yep, definitely turning into an 'unfortunately'. He was drunk.

**?...DW…?**

Mickey slowly walked back into the console room. Rose had finally gone to have a shower, so he knew this was the time. He had been baffled by her actions this afternoon and had asked her about it. She was very reluctant, but she had been honest with him. Plus he had seen the way she had acted when _he_ was gone. And now he was angry.

He walked in to see the Doctor sitting on the jump seat. He was staring into space with an almost dark expression. He was probably still thinking of that Reinette. Well, it was time for him to stop that and focus on the person who _actually_ cared for him.

The Doctor hadn't been there. He hadn't _seen_ her.

"Ah, Mick-Mickity-Mickey!" the Doctor cried in a falsely cheerful voice when he saw him.

"Alright, Doctor," he said in a matter of fact voice, coming to stand right in front of the arrogant idiot. "Rose is in the shower, and after what she's been through, it's going to be a long one. So I'm going to have plenty of time to talk to you. And you are going to shut up and listen!"

The Doctor was so shocked by this outburst that he could only sit and stare in surprise. He had never seen Mickey act like this.

"Now we both know how stubborn Rose is. Once she's made up her mind, there's no changing it. And she's staunch, she tries not to show when she's scared or upset too much. And she'll do anything to protect the people she loves. Even hide things from them."

"Is this going somewhere?" the Doctor sighed. He already knew what Rose was like… he couldn't help but notice every little thing about her. And today, when he had, he had stupidly taken another step towards Reinette.

Reinette, of course, had taken to his distraction plan like wildfire, using it to her advantage to make the King jealous. Only somewhere along the way she had fallen for him. He had used her and now he felt horrible.

And if anything, today had proven how quickly humans passed. They died in the blink of an eye. Through those windows they had seen Reinette's life in the space of a day… With his lifespan, that's what a human's life was like. It showed him how he could all too fast loose the one person that he truly cared for.

"Yes, it is!" Mickey exclaimed. "Because you didn't see her when you were gone. She just stared at that bloody broken mirror for two hours. She was so quiet, it took me ten minutes to realise she was crying. When I tried to move her she screamed at me. She was _terrified!_ She thought you weren't coming back!

She won't ever tell you this because she doesn't want to hurt you. But I couldn't give a damn, because you need to know what you've done to her.

You _left_ her, Doctor! You left her with no way back, and no way for her to get home. You just _left_ her, when just a week ago you told her you would never do that. 'Not you', isn't that what you said? Yeah, me and Sarah Jane heard you. And to make things worse, you left her to go fool around with a bloody French mistress!

Great way to treat someone you supposedly _love!_" he scoffed bitterly. The baffled Doctor opened his mouth to argue. "And don't you _dare_ deny it or I _swear to god, I will punch you right now_!" his growl became harsher as the threat went on. The Doctor would have snapped his mouth shut, but it only fell further open in shock.

"We heard you. Me and Sarah Jane. And we both know you well enough. Sarah Jane said she's never seen you like that with anyone. And I've been watching you for the last year. You love her. It's bloody obvious. And then you just throw her away!

She was going mad on that ship. Frantic. She kept saying that you'd left her behind again. She was completely freaked out! I've never seen her like that before."

"H-hang on," the Doctor managed to speak up. He had been taking in everything that had been said - and it was just making him feel even worse - but there was one thing he'd picked up on that was bugging him. "A week ago… Mickey, it was only a few days ago."

"For you, maybe," Mickey sneered. "I told you. She'd even lie to protect the ones she loves. It wasn't five and a half hours. It was five and a half fucking _days_!" And with that, he turned and stormed out of the console room. Leaving behind a horrified and bewildered Doctor.

**?...DW…?**

The Doctor lay on his back, staring up at the nebula in the sky. It was only generated, but it seemed so real. Even the light breeze that ruffled his hair and the red grass at his back was produced by the TARDIS. But it was nice. He came here to think… or to not think… to hurt. Rassilon knew he deserved it.

He had been so horrified at his actions with Reinette that he didn't even _think_ about Rose. He had barely noticed the quiver in her voice as she spoke, or the raw tear tracks on her face as she tried to make sure _he_ was okay. He hadn't even noticed until now, looking back on it, that her clothes were crumpled and stiff from days of wear. Her hair was slightly stringy and in need of a wash. And her make up was smudged, but still okay, as if she'd had it on for a few days, but was quickly reapplying it over top. As if she'd been trying to keep up appearances, but had rushed it just in case he finally came back.

She had been trying to make it look as if only hours had passed.

'_Well, your plan worked,_' he thought bitterly. '_Congratulations on treating your best friend like dirt._'

He couldn't believe he had done that to her, that he could be so cruel. He had been so involved in his selfish needs to forget her for just one second that he had nearly shattered her heart and ruined her life - and that wasn't even being melodramatic. He had been so terrified of these oddly strong feelings for her that he had done what he always did. He ran.

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It was the parting of the grass beside him that alerted him to her presence as she lay down. He smiled softly and sadly. Even when she was upset she came to comfort him… even in his secret place.

"How did you get here?" he hummed.

"The TARDIS showed me," Rose replied gently.

"She likes you," he told her just as quietly. "No one's ever been able to find the door, let alone open it."

"Hmm, I'm just special," she laughed softly.

"Yes, you are," he murmured under his breath. He didn't know if she heard, but it was so quiet and peaceful in here that there was every chance she did.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that. A comfortable silence fell upon them and they lay there, content as Rose slipped her hand into his and interwove their fingers. He felt better just being near her. She had always made him feel better, less alone, loved. This was the effect she had on him.

"Doctor," Rose finally said, still speaking quietly. "The grass is red."

"Mmm," he agreed. "It's from Gallifrey," he told her. "And this," he pointed to the nebula above them, "is the Medusa Cascade."

"I like it. It's nice," she told him.

"Mmm. I come here to get away some times… just to think."

"Oh… I'll just…" she made to stand, but he tugged on her hand and pulled her down again.

"No, stay, please." Rose smiled softly and complied. Soon they lapsed back into silence. Minutes ticked away. Yet again, it was Rose who broke it.

"Doctor…" he noted how her voice shook. "You have a TARDIS… why don't we just… go back and pick up Reinette?"

"No!" he cried, suddenly flipping up so he could look directly at her. "I mean, why would I do that?"

"But you-" she cut herself off and let out a trembling breath. "You_ cared _for her. And before, you looked so upset-" he opened his mouth to tell her she had it wrong, but she cut him off. "And don't say you aren't because I know you… you don't have to shut me out, Doctor."

He looked down at her, her big hazel eyes staring up at him beseechingly. Here she was, her heart breaking, doing all she could to make sure he was alright.

"I wanted to save her," he said taking a deep breath. "But she had a whole life set out for her. A great life. She had a husband, a daughter, a king. One of the most accomplished women of her time… Mmm, perhaps a little too ambitious at times. She wouldn't have had any time to come with us anyway. She had her own world; she wouldn't have handled it here, no matter how brave a face she put on."

He hadn't realised it, but in his musings, he had started playing with a piece of Rose's hair, twisting it around his fingers and gently stroking it. "Besides, why would I want anyone else travelling? It's already getting crowded enough with _Mickey_ being here. It's nice with just the two of us. Just you and me. I like that best… why would I want anything else?"

"Because you loved her," Rose whispered, willing her voice to be normal.

"Rose, I didn't love her… I couldn't…"

"Why not?" This time, the Doctor didn't answer.

"Rose, I'm sorry," he finally said. "I know you told me to take Arthur through, because I had to. But I still left you behind… And I promised you I'd never do that. I… I feel like I've broken that promise. I'm so sorry."

"You haven't," she told him. "You came back." She sounded so sincere, he knew she as telling the truth. He stared at her, stunned. She had forgiven him? That's all it took? He more or less abandoned her for five and a half days, and she forgave him because he came back! "You always come back."

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Sighing deeply, he pulled her to him and she curled into his chest. The both of them fell asleep there that night, lying in each other's arms. It was the best sleep either of them had in days. Neither of them said a thing after she forgave him. They just lay there listening to their three heartbeats, their breathing, and the soothing ambient sounds the TARDIS was playing through the room to make it sound like they were outside on a summer night.

Before she fell asleep, one more thing slipped through Rose's lips. "Save me…"

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><p><em><strong>Yeah, so way I see it, Rose would never confront the Doctor about Reinette. I like those fics, but I don't agree with them. Because Rose would do anything to make sure she want hurting him, even cover up her own pain. But Mickey, however would be fiercely protective of Rose and would have no such reservations ripping into anyone who hurt her.<strong>_

_**And yes, I do reckon Mickey would do that. In my opinion, at this stage, he's reached the point where he knows that Rose and the Doctor are in love with each other and he hasn't really got a shot. He may still be a little jealous, but he's accepted it. And so instead of telling Rose the Doctor's no good for her, he would be telling the Doctor to treat her right. - I mean, he stays in the parallel world so that he can finally get over her, and when he comes back, he's joking about how Rose's heart beats faster when she see's the Doctor.**_

_**But of course, Rose couldn't just leave him be. She'd have to see if he was alright. So we have the nice little scene at the end. Oh, and I changed it to days, just for a little shock value to make the Doctor guiltier and to show what lengths Rose would go to.**_


	3. Oddly Parallel

_**Hello! Sorry this has taken so long. I'm actually three chapters ahead. My beta's have been a little busy or tech-impaired, and haven't been able to get anything back to me. But I'm going into review withdrawal, so I thought I'd post this and edit it later.**_

_**So I hope you enjoy it. I think my spelling and grammar have improved anyway.**_

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**Oddly Parallel**

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"Are you alright?" the Doctor asked, sitting down next to Rose. She shuffled over to give him room on the small couch and leant into him.

"I'll be fine," she yawned. "I'm just tired."

"You just lost your best friend," he told her softly, then he winced for bringing it up again.

"Like I said, I'll be fine. Yeah, I'm going to miss him… a lot. But life doesn't stop because someone chooses to stay behind… even if that place was some creepy parallel world. I don't know how he could stand it there."

"Mmm, a world where majority of London got turned into Cybermen… not too appealing, is it?"

"Yeah, but it's not just that. The whole place just felt… wrong. Didn't you feel it?" The Doctor shrugged. "Really?" she said in surprise. "You didn't notice anything at all?"

"Nope."

"So you still felt the Earth turning? You felt the wind and the ground?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, slightly concerned.

"The - the wind. I could feel it blowing my hair, but I couldn't _actually_ feel the _wind_. Or the ground. The whole place just felt… fake. Like you and all the other people were the only real thing on it."

"I didn't feel that," he said. "Perhaps it's a human thing. I've been to Parallel worlds before. I'm used to it. Maybe humans… and other species, aren't supposed to go to different universes."

"Oh god!" Rose gasped. "Please tell me it's not like 'His Dark Materials'!" The Doctor looked at her in confusion. "'The Northern Lights', 'The Subtle Knife' and 'The Amber Spyglass'?"

"I know what they are, I don't get what you mean," he told her.

"Will's dad. He died because he spent ten years in a parallel universe. Living in a different world killed him!"

"Rose, relax," he soothed her. "That's not real. He can't die from just being there. He's more likely to be killed by a Cyberman!"

"Yeah, because that helps," she mumbled disgruntled.

"Sorry," he said. "Look, don't worry. He's going to be fine. He's brave, and strong, and much better than we ever gave him credit for."

"Oh, now you notice!" she laughed.

"Hey, I never thought he was _completely_ useless… well, except when we first met. Just cling to your legs, god, he was rubbish!"

"Then why did you invite him along?" she said, still laughing. Even just _being_ with the Doctor made her happier.

"He's your friend," he replied. "He made you happy."

"You make me happy too," she smiled, wrapping her arms around him. She tried to push back the gnawing feeling that she missed him. _Missed him?_ That was silly, he was right here in his arms. It was impossible to miss him. She missed Mickey. Yes, that's who she missed. She missed the D- _Mickey!_

"I aim to please," he grinned.

"Whoa, careful Doctor, you're starting to sound a bit domestic there," she giggled.

"I don't care," he replied. "As long as I don't have to get a mortgage. Or all those other silly things that come with a house… But domestics on the TARDIS, yeah, I think I can handle that." Rose smiled as she curled into him, sleep quickly sneaking up on her now all the action and the crying were over. The Doctor sighed heavily, a fond smile gracing his features. "What have you done to me, Rose Tyler," he laughed. But he got no reply. She was too sleepy to even consider what he meant.

Still smiling, he lifted her in his arms, and carried her to her room.

**?...DW...?**

Rose stood there as the wind whipped her hair around her face. It cooled the tears tracing down her cheek and she felt like ice, so it must have been cold. But none of that mattered. She didn't care if she didn't feel like she was walking on nothing, or that everything around her felt as real as the man before her.

She longed to be able to reach out and actually touch him. To feel his soft brown hair. To feel his comforting arms around her and his warm breath on her neck. Forget going insane form the lack of feeling in this dead world, she was going to go insane from never seeing him again.

"And I suppose," he murmured. "If there's one last chance to say it… Rose Tyler-" But then he was gone. Faded right before her eyes.

She felt cold, so cold. Her heart felt like it had been stabbed with a shard of ice and she felt a lump block her wind pipe. She went numb. He was gone… _he couldn't be GONE!_ He wouldn't just leave her. He…

Sobbing, she turned to find her mother already half way to her. She fell into Jackie's arms as another sob wracked her body. She held on to her tight, seeking comfort. But none would come. There was nothing that could make her feel better.

She was numb, she couldn't feel a thing… No, really, _she couldn't feel ANYTHING!_ She couldn't feel her mother's arms around her. Couldn't feel the pressure around her waist. There was nothing.

Frantically, she pulled back and started feeling at her mother's face. She could see the contact, she could see the dips in her mother's cheeks as her fingers pressed into them. But she could not feel it. Even more desperately she let go of Jackie and grasped at her wrist. When she still didn't feel anything she grasped tighter, eventually resorting to racking her nails down her skin till she drew blood. Terrified and heartbroken sobs were escaping her all the while.

"Rose!" Jackie cried in panicked horror. Pete and Mickey had run forward and were trying to stop her from hurting herself further.

"I can't-" she sobbed. "I can't feel it. I can't feel _anything!_ There's nothing. Mummy, I can't feel _anything!_" She was still frantically touching anything she could. To be met my nothing. She could see it all, but couldn't feel a thing.

Hysteria rose in her and she began to panic even more. Her words becoming incoherent. Jackie was almost just as frantic and worried, trying to get her to stop and yelling at Pete to do something.

Quickly Pete ran back to the jeep and grabbed the medical pack. He came back pulling out a syringe and got Mickey to hold her still. When he finally got a clear shot, he stuck the needle into her skin. She didn't feel it, but it was only a few seconds later that the world around her faded to black.

**?...DW...?**

It had been four months since Dårlig Ulv Stranden. Four months since the last tear in the universe sealed itself over. And since then, Rose hadn't felt a thing. She hadn't felt the touch of her own skin, nor anyone else's. She couldn't even taste the food in her mouth.

The numbness certainly caused some physical issues, like walking into things, and not knowing when she should be feeling pain. They had had to mark a spot on the shower tap that Jackie thought was a good temperature so she didn't burn skin like she had the first time.

It didn't even feel like she were floating. There was just nothing. The only thing that made her believe she was real anymore, was what she felt inside. The pain, the heartbreak and the gnawing loneliness.

And she was alone. Somehow she knew it had nothing to do with the Doctor, though she did miss him so much it was physically painful (it was one of the rare times she could almost feel her body). This was deeper, almost like a gut instinct.

She wasn't really alone. She had Jackie and Mickey and Pete. But she just felt inexplicably alone. Even when she was surrounded by people who cared for her she felt like there was no one. No one to care for her, to check on her or feed her. And it scared her. So alone for so long. So long since she had seen the light of day or breathed fresh air…

The first panic attack had come a week after the tear sealed itself. She felt a shiver and she knew that something was wrong. Within a matter of hours she had become lonelier and lonelier. It was as if she was waiting for someone to come back, and they never were. And the longer it stayed that way, the more she began to panic.

.

She was going insane. Quite actually insane. The lack of feeling and the loneliness mixed with the loss of the Doctor. It was all too much. She was surprised that no one had come to lock her up yet. They were hardly surprised about her depressive spiral.

It had been proven by all the best doctors that the numbness wasn't just a psychosis. Although there had been many hushed conversations between the doctors' and her parents. Some of them had her mother casting worried or suspicious glances at her.

It really was driving her insane… if she weren't already. She hardly felt real anymore. It just made her want the Doctor all the more. He would know what to do; he'd find out what was wrong or fix it.

Oh god, she just wanted it all to stop! She wanted to be by his side and feeling normal… like how things used to be. She just wanted to go back.

.

Rose sat in the lounge of the Tyler Mansion with her mother. Jackie was seven months along now, and she was sitting watching TV. Rose wasn't a fan of TV she had avoided watching it after the incident with the Wire. But apparently Rose needed someone around her almost 24 / 7 to distract her.

She had to admit, it did help a little. But her mother's insistent chatting could get on her nerves after a while. Even though the woman didn't speak half as much as the Doctor. But maybe that was because he talked about such wonderful things and she loved the sound of his voice.

No… bad train of thought. She had to think of something else. Not her time with the Doctor. It would only make things worse.

.

_She stared into his eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks. He looked at her like he had just found the solution. He was so overjoyed, but she could see the shadow in his eyes. He was going to do something very dangerous. But it would be worth it._

"_My head…" she sobbed._

"_Come here," he said gently, taking her hands in his and pulling her closer._

"_It's killing me…"_

.

Shaking her head Rose snapped out of it. That was _not,_ not thinking about her time with the Doctor. She'd always had snippets of this scene in her dreams. Bits of what had happened would reveal themselves to her. Words said, actions done. They way the Doctor had looked up at her in such fear and pain for her sake… No, bad train of thought. But she couldn't stop the memory from popping up again.

.

_The Doctor smiled at her sadly. "I think you need a Doctor," he said quietly. And he pulled her into a kiss. It was such a beautiful soft kiss. And as he kissed her, she could feel the power draining from her body. Slowly, his lips still against hers, she fell into unconsciousness._

_But the pain didn't stop. It continued to burn. Her head felt like it were being prised slowly apart. Had she been awake, she would have been screaming. She was burning from the inside out. She was dying._

_Slowly a light entered her mind, soft and comforting. It took the pin away, whispering sweet words of nothingness and comfort. It wasn't even a proper voice, just a feeling. And it calmed her so. Made her feel better._

_She felt a little bit of the energy sweep back into her and seed in her heart. It would grow. It would keep her safe when things went bad in the future._

_Slowly, the presence in her mind retracted, and finally, her world faded to a peaceful blackness._

_._

She was so confused by that. Had that really happened. And what was all that when she was unconscious? For a moment she was back in the lounge. But it didn't last long.

_._

_She waited patiently as the elevator descended. Little odd, she would have thought that Ward 26 would have been upwards._

_._

It began again, a different scene. A different memory to uncover.

.

_The elevator opened with a ping and she cautiously stepped out into some sort of basement… this couldn't be right._

"_Hello?" she called out softly. She stopped short when she saw something on the wall. The words 'Bad Wolf' printed in chipped off black paint. She realised that they had seen several of these on the way in. How could they have missed it? Wasn't it over? Had they stopped looking for them? Were there more that they had missed?_

_Suddenly she was grabbed from behind, the white gloved hand covering her mouth. She tried to call out around the hand, but it was pressed against her too firmly. Something sharp pressed into her neck and she started to feel dizzy._

"_I thought Cassandra was supposed to deliver the Goddess to us," a voice said somewhere behind her._

"_I trust that piece of skin as much as she is round. She lured her down here, we can do the rest," said a voice from right by her ear as she felt herself flop into the woman's arms. The voices became foggy and distant as black crept around the edges of her vision, and slowly consumed her…_

.

"What?" she found herself crying out loud. That wasn't what had happened!

"Rose, are you okay?" her mother asked sitting up straight - albeit with some difficulty because of her belly.

"Yeah, just… remembering something that didn't happen," she said distractedly.

"No, Rose, you're shaking," Jackie pointed out. Rose looked down to see that her hands were trembling so much that if she were holding something, it would have fallen form her grip.

"What the," she said, her voice almost trembling as mush as her hands. She watched as the shaking spread, slowing climbing up her arms and taking over her entire chest. Soon her whole body was convulsing.

"Rose!" Jackie cried in horror. She pushed herself up and rushed over to her daughter who was slowly slipping to the ground as her legs could no longer support her. "Rose! Rose, what's happening?" she sobbed.

Rose didn't really know herself, but she could barely get her mouth open to say so. She finally managed to say the two things she knew in her heart. "I'm going home," she said. Then she looked up into Jackie's tear filled eyes. "I love you, Mum."

"No, no you can't die!" Jackie cried, pulling Rose's shaking form into her arms. But after a moment she met nothing as Rose burst into a puddle of melted flesh.

.

With a gasp, Rose found herself trapped in a tiny metal… well, it felt like a coffin. And she barely had the energy to keep her eyes open. Slowly, they drifted shut, and she was consumed by darkness.

.

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><p><em><strong>Yep, that is a cliff hander. Rose is either dead, or nearly dead. And yes, some of you cleverly figured out that Rose had been replaced by a Flesh like the kind in 'Almost People' and 'The Rebel Flesh' like Amy had. And the only reason the Doctor had noticed it wasn't Amy was because of the pregnancy scan.<strong>_

_**I've explained the numbness in the next chapter, but hopefully it's obvious. But it makes sense and would really freak anyone out.**_

_**Please review! Me and my multiple personalities that have popped up would REALLY appreciate it! We love you!**_


	4. Last Words

**Last Words**

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"Doctor!" the cry broke him out of his calm, happy state. He turned to see Hame looking desperately at the Face of Boe as the glass of his tank cracked. The next thing he knew the Face of Boe was on the ground and he and Hame were kneeling next to him.

"Boe! Are you alright?" he asked in concern.

"Thank you, Doctor," the Face of Boe rasped.

"Hey, it's what I do," he said cheerfully, but you could tell by the quiet tone of his voice that he was trying to cover up the tone of despair, realising that the Face of Boe was not in a good way.

"Doctor?" Martha's voice echoed through the senate.

"Over here," he called softly.

"Doctor!" he heard her cry in delight. She ran around the corner, a smile on her face, but a sad question on her lips. "What happened out there?" That was when she noticed who he was kneeling next to. "What's that?"

"It's the Face of Boe," he said gently. "It's alright. Come and say hello. And this is Hame. She's a cat. Don't worry." Cautiously Martha began to approach them and kneeled down next to him. "He's the one that saved you, not me."

"My lord gave his life to save the city," Hame said. "And now he is dying."

"No, don't say that," he told her. "Not old Boe. Plenty of life left."

"It's good to breath the air once more," he rasped.

"Who is he?" Martha asked.

"I don't even know," the Doctor said looking up at her, sad wonder on his face. "Legend says the Face of Boe had lived for billions of years. Isn't that right?" he asked Boe. "And you're not about to give up now."

"Everything has it's time," he replied, reminding him of something Sarah Jane once said. "You know that, old friend, better than most."

"The legend says more," Hame prompted.

"Don't," he said, his voice a little harder. "There's no need for that." Boe could make it. He didn't want to know the secret if it meant his life was coming to a close.

"It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveller."

"Yeah, but not yet. Who needs secrets, eh?" he said trying to get her to stop.

"I have seen so much," Boe gasped. "Perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind. As you are the last of yours, Doctor."

He ignored the shocked and confused look Martha sent him. "That's why we have to survive," he said, his voice straining as if he were holding back tears. "Both of us. Don't go."

"I must," Boe said. "But know this, Time Lord. You are not alone. You must go back to the hospital. Find what was lost." With these last words, he opened his mouth to speak them, rather than in their heads. Slowly his eyes closed and he let out his last breath.

The Doctor, who had been on the verge of tears, now sat staring uncomprehendingly at the Face of Boe. What could he have meant? There was no way there could be anyone else out there. He would know. And what could be back at the hospital? He had only been there once, and now he found those memories too painful. What had been lost?

Still in shock he stood up, not long after Martha who had tears in her eyes. He put an arm around her shoulder and held her to him. Beside them Hame began to sob. There was nothing they could do for her. And there was nothing they could say.

.

"The hospital… What does he mean, Doctor?" Martha asked after a long moment. "Does he mean where I train? You know, when we were on the moon? Isn't that crossing our timelines? I thought something like that would be forbidden or something."

"It is," the Doctor said, his voice shaking and his face rather pale. "But that wasn't what he meant. Hame…?"

"He always used to send power there," Hame said quietly when he couldn't finish his question. Wiping her tears, she stood and looked at him. She could tell from the look in his eyes that something about the place upset him. And she would bet everything it had to do with the blonde woman who was no longer at his side. Rose, the Face of Boe had called her. "I'm not sure why, but he would always send the tiniest bit of power he could spare there. I don't know why. I've been there, I've checked for survivors. There was none. Nothing there. But he always told me that something important was there. Something you would need."

"Well… always worth a look," he said cheerfully. But Martha saw the shadows in his eyes as he brought back his bouncy façade. "Let's go get the TARDIS. I can imagine the hospital will still be in lockdown for a while longer. Brings back memories, doesn't it Hame." He tried to smile, but both women could see through it.

Cautious not to say anything more until they had figured out a little more, Martha and Hame followed him back down to the Under city to get the TARDIS.

**?...DW…?**

The TARDIS materialised into the main lobby, and the three of them walked out. Despite the pure white walls, the place still looked dark. Bodies littered the floor everywhere they looked. It sickened him, the memories this place was giving.

"Aw, still no little shop," he muttered as he looked about. "Okay…" he said quietly. "Hame, would it be in ward 26?"

"No, I've already checked there," she told him, her voice just as quiet.

"Alright, well, the message was for me, so it will have been somewhere I've been here."

"Where else have you been then?" Martha asked. She was being quiet too. There was just something about this place.

"Well, there was the 'intensive care' unit."

"That was destroyed and cleared out not long after you left," Hame said. "It's just maintenance corridors now."

"The elevators."

"They'll be off with the lockdown."

"Right… only one place left then…" he sighed, heading for the door that lead to the maintenance stairs.

"Where's that?" Martha said in a hushed tone.

"The basement," he replied. Then he opened the door and headed down without waiting for the others to follow.

.

He used the sonic to illuminate the slightly familiar room. It was still recognisable. Nothing had changed since he'd been here last. Cassandra's frame still sat near the wall, her expired brain, still pickled in its jar.

"What is that?" Martha said in disgust.

"This is what's left of Cassandra O' 17 - the last pure blood human… Well, not that you could really call her a human anymore. She was pretty much a stretch of skin with eyes and lips… and somehow a voice box… a really loud voce box."

"I'm guessing you didn't like her," Martha judged from his tone.

"Not really," he told her. "First time we met her, she tried to kill a bunch of people so she could profit from their business shares."

"So… what happened to her?"

"She used a psychograft," he pointed to the machine in the corner, it still hadn't been moved. "It transfers one person's mind into another's body. The original mind is ever so slowly compressed to death. Last time we were here, she lured Rose down here and tricked her into the psychograft. She possessed Rose and pretended to be her. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what.

We found out that the hospital had created humans with Flesh and were experimenting on them to create cures. Thanks to Cassandra, they got loose and started to spread every single disease through the hospital. We stopped them, used the cures to heal them. Cassandra went between my body and Rose's the whole time. She ended up moving to her assistant's body. But he was a force grown clone and his body couldn't handle it. They both died."

"Maybe you're looking for something to do with her," she suggested.

"Who knows…" he sighed. "You know, it's a little odd seeing Boe this time. Every time I've met him, Rose and Cassandra were there. Now Cassandra's dead and Rose is… Come on, let's try this way," he changed the subject, acting falsely cheerful, and headed down a corridor. They passed by an elevator and he guessed this was where Rose had come the first time.

Behind him Martha paused, looking at the wall and muttered something. It had sounded a bit like 'Bad Wolf'. But it couldn't have been. That was over. That was done. Rose was gone. He looked over his shoulder just to make sure, but by no they had passed it and that part of the corridor was once again shrouded in darkness. So he ignored it. It just couldn't be. It had been a message _to_ Rose. Maybe she had tried to warn herself not to - or even _to_ go down to Cassandra.

He refused to let himself hope.

They stepped into the dark room and he sonic-ed on the power. Lights flickered dully, feebly trying to glow, but not quite being able to do so after so long. This place looked fairly familiar. But that was just because it was only a few rooms away from where Cassandra had hid all those years ago. But this place was a little different. It wasn't so abandoned.

This place looked like it had once been used on a daily basis. There was medical equipment and computers everywhere. Judging by the patches everywhere, he suspected this was where the chemicals had been created. There were even a few bodies left that had been caught by the 'Bliss' virus. He could see by the garb on the decaying feline bodies, that they had been Sisters of Plenitude.

Hame looked about forlornly at the bodies of those she had once called sisters, before moving to a large metal dais in the middle of the room. It seemed to be the first thing that Martha noticed too. But what he noticed first was the tiny red dot on each monitor that signalled that they were only asleep.

Quickly he rushed about, turning them all on to reveal years and years of forgotten data. The thing that drew his eye most, though, was two strands of DNA. He could tell almost at a glance at one that they belonged to the same person… but one strand was horribly wrong. Whipping on his glasses he leaned in closer to see.

The first strand, the normal one, was human. Pure human. As a matter of fact, the records showed that this vial of blood had been from 2001. But it had been fresh when it had been analysed, so someone must have gone back in time to get it… but why?

The next one almost stopped his hearts. He was right, it was from the same person, but it had been taken straight from the patient. Here in this very room. And that was far from the worst of it. That hadn't been what had made him freeze dead with the blood in his veins slowly turning to ice. This strand of DNA had been tampered with. He didn't know whether it was natural or a result of experiments (even though he was leaning towards natural). But it had changed.

It had extra DNA attached to it. DNA that was far superior to what it had been… a very _familiar_ strand of DNA wove throughout the original. It was familiar… because it was the same strand that he saw when he tested his own blood.

Oh, this person wasn't a Time Lord. Far from it. Still human… well, mostly. But it was more that… a little bit of Time Lord DNA got in the mix. It was similar to that of the early Gallifreyan race… But hang on, yes, it did look very much the same to Time Lord DNA. But there was something a little different about it. But that little difference in the data, meant a whole world of difference in reality.

Whoever this was… they were something entirely new.

.

"What is it Doctor?" Martha asked.

"It's a person," he murmured. "Their DNA is like nothing like anything I've ever seen again… it's… well, it's part Gallifreyan."

"So, what? Do you have to find_ them _or something?"

The Doctor sighed heavily and took off his glasses and rubbed his eye. "If I had to take a guess, Martha, I would say that she is inside that pod in the middle of the room."

"What!" she cried jumping back from it. "Then we have to get them out!"

"It's too late," he told her. "Whoever it was, she's been in there for twenty-four years with no one to care for her and no food."

"So, she's dead. Then why would the Face of Boe send you back here?"

"I don't know!" he said in frustration before he turned sadly back to the results.

There was a small chance - the slightest, most tiniest chance in existence - that going by this information… the person _could_ be alive. But it wasn't at all likely. Looking at the computers he found what appeared to be a log. He scrolled backwards through it.

.

'_Emotional chemical 'Bliss' has finally been extracted from the patient. Ready for manufacturing._'

.

He scrolled up past the chemicals section, his mind only breezing over them.

.

'_We have discovered that the patient is able to project her emotions, feelings, etc. through to other people. It is almost a form of telepathy, but we believe there is a way to transfer and use it. We are working on a way to extract this. It may benefit patients who are distressed or upset. - Especially as she seems to be happy most of the time._'

.

He scrolled further up to the top, only half reading all the medical talk.

.

'_Patient almost woke again today. She dreams quite often. Her life sounds dangerous. We can only hope her Flesh survives._'

.

Flesh. As in, the Flesh, flesh? Oh, that makes so much more sense now. Flesh had been invented in the 22nd century as an inhabitable second body, so that people could do hazardous work without any actual harm to themselves. That's what the dais was. A psychic link pod… But why would they need a double?

.

'_Patient was successfully taken and swapped with Flesh ganger. Hit a few snags when the stock of Flesh was discovered. Matron was killed. Sister Veed has taken charge of the hospital and the Goddess Project. The Goddess's companion is still oblivious to the swap and they have left New Earth.'_

.

Suddenly he felt his hearts beat faster, and fear creep into his mind. Quickly he scrolled right to the top of the page. He had to quash his fear… or confirm it.

.

'_After extensive research about the Goddess of Time, we have finally gotten results. She is Rose Tyler, a human born in the 21__st__ century on the original Earth._

_Blood tests from 2001 - procured by a Time Agent - show there is nothing special about her at the age of fifteen. But rumours say she became a goddess after travelling with her lover, the Lord of Time._

_Our source tells us that she is currently doing so, but that he is fiercely protective of her. We will replace her with a Flesh ganger once she is acquired._

_This project is only to be known about by myself - Matron Casp, and Sister Veed. All others are who are working on it are to remain oblivious.'_

.

'_We have set a trap. We have ensured that a friend of theirs will spend his dying moments at our hospital. It is rumoured that he will tell a secret to the Lord of Time with his last breath. We have paid our source to lure the Goddess to us, although she seems entirely too demanding and rather untrustworthy.'_

.

Turning away from the computers he drew a shaky breath. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at the dais. It was Rose. They had taken Rose.

"Doctor?" Martha asked in concern.

The Doctor didn't say anything, he just slowly walked up to the dais. He could feel the tears threatening to spill over. All that time - an entire year! - and he hadn't even noticed. He hadn't noticed something was different and he had ignored the warnings. All that time and she was really here, being experimented on.

Part of his mind was rejoicing that she had never been stuck in the parallel universe. Another part yelled at him that not only had she been experimented on for god knows how many years, but she had been abandoned for the last 24 years with no one to look after her. And another screamed at him not to give up hope, that there was till a 3.8% chance she was still alive.

He didn't know weather she was alive or dead… he was facing a literal Schrödinger's box here. But could he bring himself to do that? Could he bring himself to open the pod and see her still, dead form, wasted away into death before him?

"Doctor?" Martha tried again quietly, seeing the state he was in.

Still he didn't answer. Hesitantly, he pressed the button on the side of the pod and it hissed as it opened. He closed his eyes as it creaked from lack of use as the top lifted and moved itself off, revealing a body lying on a table. He opened his eyes when he heard Martha's soft gasp.

There she was, pale and still as death. Her skin was pale and translucent, her veins showing starkly against it. There were dark shadows below her eyes and she was so skinny she almost looked like a skeleton.

Tears falling down his cheeks, he placed a hand on her cheek, cupping her face. And that's when he felt it, the faintest whisper of a breath against his skin. Martha seemed to notice the fall of her chest at the same time.

"Oh my god, she's breathing! Doctor she's alive!"

"Rose!" he cried desperately before she'd even finished speaking. He ignored the shocked gasp that escaped her lips and focused on the girl before him. "Rose, it's me. I'm here," he said quietly, his tone still desperate. "Oh, Rose, please stay with me," he begged.

Then he saw her eyelids twitch. Slowly she struggled to open them even half way. He caught a glimpse of hazel before they closed again, but the tiniest smile attempted to form on her face.

Carefully he picked her up bridal style, cradling her to his chest. He felt her fingers curl, feebly trying to cling to his jacket where her hand rested against him.

"Let's get back to the TARDIS, quickly," he said. Then he walked back the way they had come, going as quickly as he could without jostling her.

"Doctor," Martha said, running to keep up with his long strides. "Is that Rose? As in the Rose that you always talk about, 'Rose'?

"Yes," he replied impatiently as they walked. He felt Rose's mouth twitch and figured she was trying to smile. That although she appeared unconscious, she clearly wasn't.

"What's she doing here?" I always thought she'd left or something."

Suddenly the Doctor stopped and spun around to face her. "No," he snapped. "She would never leave. Not by choice. Do you know how many times I send her away for her own safety? And every bloody time she came back for me!" Realising he'd stopped. He turned back and picked up his pace again.

"I'm sorry," Martha apologised. "It was only a guess… obviously a really wrong one. But what _did_ happen to her? You said you'd been here before, is that when you lost her?"

"Not exactly," he replied, starting on the stairs. "They replaced her. The Face of Boe being here was a trap. They took her then replaced her with a ganger. These - these gangers, this Flesh, it mimics biology. You can even link the original mind to the body. That's what she was in, a psychic link pod. It's so flawless that not even the mind inside the Flesh can tell. But I should have noticed!"

"Hold on, I'm confused. You're saying that she was taken here and replaced with some sort to clone with her brain in it-"

"Just her mind. Her body was back here, but her mind was linked to the Flesh. She was living through it while her body slept."

"Right - and neither of you noticed for how long? And then what? How did you lose her?" She ran ahead and got the stairwell door for him.

"Nearly a year. And we were separated at Canary Warf. She was trapped in a parallel universe, no way to get her back… But she never really left… is it horrible that I'm now kind of happy that this happened? I mean, not what with what's happened to her, but that she never really got stuck. Martha, left coat pocket, TARDIS key," he said stopping at the door to his ship.

Martha dug around in his pockets a moment, going down to her elbow. Finally she got it and unlocked the door for him… And that was when he noticed that Rose's grip had slackened.

"Rose?" he asked. Nothing. "Rose?" he tried again, giving her a small shake. "Rose, do something, please. Anything, just something to show you're okay, _please!_" Still Rose remained motionless. He couldn't feel her heartbeat against his chest, but that was probably because his hearts were beating so hard. "Quickly, med bay!" he commanded, sprinting into the TARDIS and down the halls. Martha and Hame followed him and came into the med bay in time to see him lying her down on a bed. "Rose, I'm so sorry, but I have to hook you up to more machines. Martha, Hame, you've both worked in hospitals. Please, I need your help!"

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><p><em><strong>Sorry, bit of a cliff-hanger there. But on the positive side, they ARE back together…<strong>_


	5. Waking up is Knowing who you Really Are

_**Hey, guys! Sorry this one took WAY too long. I got writers block on it and just really didn't know where to take it. But it's here now. And it's the last chapter. So enjoy!**_

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><p>.<p>

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**Waking up is Knowing who you Really Are**

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The light was far too bright, even though she knew it was on low. It burnt her eyes. Everything stung, everything ached. She just felt so horrible and still so weak. She knew that seizures were bad, but she hadn't realised they felt _this_ bad.

For a moment she had had the most wonderful hallucination, or daydream, or whatever it was. It wasn't as good as others she'd had, but it felt so real. She could hear his voice as if he were really beside her. Feel the material of his suit beneath her fingers… she could feel.

Oh, she had dreamt of being able to feel these past four months. In her daydreams she could feel the hard grating of the TARDIS beneath her bare feet. But this _actually_ felt as if she could feel again. It felt real._ She _felt real.

Hang on… she could still feel something. She could feel soft sheets at her back and a warm duvet over her. And she could hear the comforting sound of the TARDIS, but she almost expected that. Sometimes her mind just played it.

What really surprised her, when her eyes came into focus, was that she found she was in a very familiar room. It was her room on the TARDIS. She was lying in her bed. The whole room was the same. Nothing had changed.

The only things she could pinpoint as different was the smell of the Doctor on her pillow, a few items of his that had just been forgotten in here… and the seat beside her bed with a sleeping Time Lord in it.

As beautiful as he was, he also looked terrible. His suit was crumpled, as if he hadn't changed in days. The jacket was off and the shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was in even more disarray than usual and maybe in need of a wash. He had faint shadows below his eyes and clear signs of a 5 o'clock shadow too. She could tell that he was sleeping restlessly.

She sat there, just looking at him. She didn't want this illusion to shatter. She wanted this dream to never end. It felt more real than anything had in a very long time.

.

Slowly his eyes fluttered open. He groaned as he rubbed them, moving so he was sitting up properly. He looked over at her and blinked. It took him a few seconds to realise that she was actually awake, but when he did, he was by her side in a flash.

"Rose!" he cried. "Rose, it's okay." He began tenderly stroking her face and her hair. His hands felt so wonderful against her skin she almost cried. She opened her mouth to say his name, but all that came out was a pathetic gasping sound. "Shh, shh," he soothed her. He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a glass of some almost clear, just slightly yellow drink. "Here, drink this," he told her. "It'll sooth your throat. Don't try and talk yet."

She nodded silently and he gave her a small smile. She drained half the glass and he placed a hand on hers to stop her. "Slowly!" he cried. "It's been a while since your stomach has held anything." She opened her mouth to ask how long she was out for, but he gave her a look. "Uh-uh, I said no talking, Missy!" he said, jokingly. But tears were slowly filling his eyes as he looked at her.

Suddenly she was swept up in his arms and he let out a sigh that almost sounded like a sob. "I'm so sorry, Rose. Rassilon, I've missed you!" With the little strength she had, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest. Oh, he felt so good. She needed this contact.

"How do you feel?" he asked after a while.

"Sore," she managed to croak; her voice was still raw, but now she was at least able to speak. "I didn't think a seizure hurt this much… or caused hallucinations."

This caused the Doctor to chuckle a little, his hand swept down to caress her cheek and she leaned into it. "This isn't a hallucination, Rose," he told her softly. "You're really here."

"You found a way through?" she rasped quietly in wonder.

He shook his head. "You never left. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Rose. You were kidnapped on New Earth before Cassandra took you. They replaced you with a Flesh that held your consciousness. Neither of us could know the difference. You've been here ever since."

"Is that why I couldn't feel anything?" she asked, sounding so tired and innocent.

"Sorry?"

"After you said goodbye, I lost feeling. I couldn't feel anything. Completely numb."

"Yeah, the sealing of the walls must have broken the connection somewhat. And you said seizure?" She nodded. "That would have been the machine deteriorating as the power failed. Not actually a seizure, just the molecules of the Flesh falling apart."

"Then why do I feel like crap?" she asked. The Doctor looked away, hesitant to tell her. She knew that for some reason he was feeling horribly guilty. "Doctor?"

"You've…" he started. "You've been lying in a psychic link pod for… a very long time."

"What? A year and seven months?" She noticed him look down. "Doctor, how long is 'a very long time'?"

"Twenty four years," he whispered.

"What?" she cried, sitting bolt upright. Every muscle in her body screamed in protest as she moved. "I'm 45!"

"Perhaps older," he said quietly. "I don't know how long you were trapped here before the Bliss virus spread. The pod must have protected you from it."

"I'm an old woman!" she cried. Ignoring the pain, she reached up and began touching her face, feeling for signs of age. She didn't feel any wrinkles. Just taut skin and jutting bones.

"No, no, no, Rose!" he cried reaching over and pulling her hands into his. "You don't look old," he assured her. "You still look twenty… Well, I assume you still look twenty, maybe twenty one. It - it's a little hard to tell. You still look young but… You were in that pod for 24 years with no food or water or care. It's a bloody miracle you're even alive…" he had to choke back a sob.

Rose let the words sink in. Twenty four years without anything that would is considered necessary to stay alive. "H-how _am_ I alive?" she asked. The Doctor looked up at her, fear in his eyes. But he had to be honest with her.

"Well, I'm not _exactly_ sure. I'm guessing a lot of it was luck. There was about a 3.8% chance you would be alive. But that's only because… well, it's because…"

"Doctor?" she prompted softly. Her voice was getting less haggard as she continued to drink.

"Your biology has changed," he breathed out harshly. "You're not exactly… _human_ anymore. You still are, a little. But you're more like, well, you're more like me, actually. Well, more like your own new species really. You're still fundamentally a human, still who you used to be. But you've got a lot of Time Lord DNA and some I've never even seen before. But we can figure out how it happened when you're feeling better. The last thing you'll want now is _more_ experiments." He winced at the thought. "But as for how you stayed alive, I think we can base that on your changed DNA and energy being transferred from the Flesh to you. The mere psychic energy was keeping you strong enough."

"No wonder I ate so much and never got fat," she tried to joke. The Doctor tried to laugh with her, but it sounded fairly forced. "Doctor?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you touch me? Please, just hold me, anything… I need to feel…" She had barely finished speaking when he slipped one hand back into hers and began caressing her face and arms and any other skin he could see. Rose sighed in content, eyes closing. She doubted she would ever take the feel of another's skin against hers for granted. Heck, she'd probably do a happy dance in the snow just for being able to feel the cold!

"This is nice," she whispered.

"So, you couldn't…"

"Feel anything for four months," she finished for him. "Not anything. Not even pain or my own contact. Just about drove me insane… Would it be too much to ask for you to never stop doing this?"

"I'll try not to," he chuckled.

"How could it have been over twenty-four years? I was only over there exactly seven months. I was counting. And it was exactly four since I went numb."

"Hmm," the Doctor thought a moment. "Well, considering New Earth had next to no power since it was being filtered down to the Under City, the machine probably went on standby. It's most likely that you were only conscious… well, dreaming, one day out of every seventy-five."

"And what, the rest I was just switched off?" He nodded solemnly. "Gee, talk about sleeping your life away," she chuckled weakly. The Doctor echoed her laugh.

"Don't you dare pull another sleeping beauty on me like that again," he chided, before leaning down and kissing her on the forehead.

They both looked up as the door closed and someone walked in. "Oh, sorry," she said. "I'll come back later."

"No, no, it's okay," the Doctor told her. "Rose, this is Martha. Martha, this is Rose!" he beamed. Martha came into the room and put the tray she was holding down.

"It's nice to see you awake," she smiled. "He hasn't left your side in days. Speaking of which, you," she pointed to the Doctor sternly, "eat." Happily he did as he was told, digging into food off the tray. "Have you given her a check up, yet?"

"Fee onwy jus woke up, Marfa!" he protested around his food. He swallowed. "I was a little more concerned about convincing her I wasn't a hallucination or dream and telling her that she's not really human."

"Ugh, shocker of a day, huh?" Martha asked as she picked up a stethoscope.

"You have no idea," Rose replied.

"Shock for us too. The mysterious Rose is suddenly here instead of on some… parallel universe."

"Mysterious Rose?" she said in confusion.

"I've only known him a few days, and already it's 'Rose would have loved this', 'Rose would have known what to do', 'Last time Rose and I were here…'"

"Really?" she asked.

"You sound surprised," Martha noted.

"Well, he doesn't usually speak about past companions."

"I do too!" he said indignantly.

"Need I remind you of Sarah Jane and Jack?"

"Who?" Martha asked.

"I rest my case," Rose said smugly. But the smugness was ruined when she gasped as Martha placed the ice cold stethoscope on her chest.

"Sorry," she said. "To be honest, I don't know what I'm looking for," Martha sighed. "Who knows what's correct for your physiology anymore. I think the Doctor should probably run a few tests."

"I'm _not_ experimenting on her," he said angrily. "She's been through enough."

"Not even to see if she's okay?"

"I've downloaded the information that the Sisters of Plenitude had on her. From what I've read she'll be fine. She's already looking better and it's only been a few days. She just needs to be looked after. Some food, muscle therapy. She'll be right as rain, won't you Rose."

"I look terrible, don't I?" she groaned.

"No," the Doctor told her. She could hear the honesty in his voice, but doubted it due to the sympathetic look on Martha's face.

"You look better than when we found you," she said gently. "We thought that you were dead for a moment until we noticed you breathing."

"So I look dead?"

"No," the Doctor told her. "More like… you've been sick…"

"Doctor, I can feel my ribcage sticking a mile out and I barely have enough strength to lift my arms." She noticed, for the first time, the tears in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Like I said," he told her, trying to sound his happy self. "Nothing a little bit of food and muscle therapy can't fix. You're healing a lot more rapidly than you used to. It shouldn't take too long."

"This is going to suck, isn't it?" she sighed. "Muscle therapy. I had a cousin who had to go through that when she was trampled by her horse."

"It's not going to be easy," Martha said sympathetically. "But it will be worth it. I mean, what with this guy, you're going to need to be in running shape pretty quickly." This made Rose laugh a little.

"What matters," the Doctor said, leaning forward and grabbing her hand, a smile on his face. "Is that you're back."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."

**?...DW…?**

It had been days since she had woken up. The Doctor had carried her from the med ward to his room. He said that he would have taken her to hers, but his room was better equipped for anything she would need.

She had looked around the room to see equations everywhere. He had dragged at least ten whiteboards around the room, all with notes and equations and diagrams. He had blushed when she asked what they were for, quickly pushing them out, muttering about how they didn't matter anymore.

Now she lay on his huge bed. It was so soft that you sunk a few good inches into it, and you never wanted to get back up. She had pulled her top up and was trying to see the state of her stomach. It hurt a little, trying to use the muscles in her neck for this long, but she knew that was good. The more she did it, the stronger it would get. Her arms were much better now. Still horribly thin, but she could easily lift everyday things now. And yesterday she had taken her first shaky steps with the Doctor's help.

She peered up over her breasts to her stomach. She was still _very_ thin and you could see her ribcage, but it was much, much better than it had been. All she could say was thank god for rapid healing. She had realised not long ago that she was hardly ever injured after the Game Station. It was really more that she just never noticed that she was and healed before it got to the point she would be worried. Even the Flesh had done that. The Doctor said it was because they used her DNA to sculpt it.

"Yes, it is looking bigger," an amused voice came from the doorway. She dropped her hands and looked up to see the Doctor leaning casually against the wall, just watching her. How long had he been standing there?

"You sure?" she asked. "I can still see a lot of bones."

Sighing, he walked into the room and over to her, but not without reaching back through the door and dragging a small trolley after him. He sat down beside the bed and gently pressed a finger to each rib, almost as if he were playing piano. This thought made her giggle. "Ticklish?" he asked.

"A little," she said. "But I was laughing at you… doing that I mean."

"Well, you seem to have developed a very strong craving for physical contact," he smiled at her. "And I, being strangely tactile in this incarnation, feel only too happy to oblige. Especially since I was without you for so long."

"Twenty-four years. I think I win," she said, her tongue poking out from her teeth as she grinned cheekily at him.

"Yeah… probably. And you look fine."

"Sorry?"

His eyes flicked down to her still bare stomach, which his fingers still rested on. "This," he said wriggling his fingers like he were drumming on a table, making her giggle. "I bet you that in a few days time you'll look just like you always did… Well, maybe a _little_ skinnier. And it will probably only be a few days after that that your muscles will be strong enough that you won't need my help for anything." He seemed to blush at this point. "Anyway," he coughed awkwardly. "Food!"

He pulled the top off the tray to reveal at least three different drinks, hot tea, juice and a milkshake… and a _huge,_ steaming, pile of chips… on newspaper. Pressing a button on the side of the tray, it rose into the air and hovered before him and he gently pushed it over to the bed, before jumping to sit next to her.

Rose laughed as he popped a chip into his mouth and hurried to do the same, the movement of reaching over no longer painful. She thought back to his earlier embarrassment. He had said that she wouldn't 'need his help for anything'… anything implying everything possible…

But why was _he_ embarrassed about that? Okay, so he had helped her to the bathroom once or twice, but never went in. And in the very early stages when she could barely dress herself, Martha had helped with that. A little embarrassing, maybe a bit downcasting, but necessary, and she was past that point now. And sometimes she got tired of standing in the shower, but that was why the TARDIS had put in a perch for her to sit on and a rail to help her keep balance.

He had never had to worry about any of that… so why was he now? …Then it hit her.

"Martha's leaving, isn't she?" she asked.

The Doctor nodded. "Said she wanted to give us some space. Didn't want me to feel guilty about spending so much time trying to help you. But she gave me her mobile and told me she'd call me to see how you were doing. So she'd be happy to travel with us again… if that's all right with you… Oh, and she's going to finish med school. Spend time with her family."

"Well, good on her!" Rose cheered. "And I wouldn't mind having her back one bit. She's really nice." He gave her a small smile, but then she noticed that he had slipped off into a brooding stare that she thought would have fit better on his last incarnation. "What is it?"

"It's just… I never figured out a way to get to the other universe. There's no way to tell Jackie that you're alive… You'll never see her again."

"I know," she whispered. "But I think they knew I wasn't really me for a while. We ran a lot of tests to see what was wrong with me, and Pete kept looking at me oddly after that. I'm sure they'll figure it out. Besides… I made the choice to stay here with you a long time ago. A _very_ long time ago, apparently."

"How long ago, exactly?" he said, turning on his side to face her. She turned as well, shifting to get comfortable. To say the truth, that question had been eating away at him for a while, but they were always too busy, and then it hurt too much to think about once she was gone.

"Long before I was replaced with the Flesh," she said. "I mean, there were times when I thought, 'I'm never going to leave'. But I don't think I truly meant it… or realised how much I meant it until you sent me away the first time. Something in me snapped. I knew that I couldn't just leave you, that I couldn't let you die or go on by yourself. It was one of the reasons I was so desperate to get back to you. It was around that point that I realised it wasn't just some… some crush or infatuation. I thought I loved you, but then I knew, I _knew_ that I loved you… more than anything."

And there it was. The thing that had been sitting between them since she got back. The thing that they had been… not ignoring, exactly… just not… talking about.

Talking about that time bought back the memories so clearly in her head that her voice had cracked, and tears had leaked from the corner of her eyes. Gently, the Doctor raised a hand and wiped the tear away, leaving his hand resting on her cheek.

"Well then… I think I win, because I realised that it wasn't a fascination or a strange refraction of psychic energy bouncing against me, or any other of those pathetic excuses I thought up, when I thought I had lost you after the Anne-Droid transmatted you. I thought you were dead for a whole two hours!"

Rose smiled, then snorted. "I had to be sedated to get off Krop Tor because I refused to believe you were dead, no matter what anyone said, and wouldn't leave!"

"I had to see you standing there without your beautiful face and no neural impulses and not know if I could ever reverse it!"

"Love's not a competition, Doctor," she giggled.

"Yeah, but I'm winning," he said. Rose laughed again, and he didn't hesitate to press his lips against hers.

He hadn't noticed anything was wrong last time. Now that he had her back, he would never let her go.

.

.

.

* * *

><p><em><strong>And that's all folks!<strong>_

_**I had fun writing that last part. In case you may have noticed, I had Paramour stuck in my head at the time.**_

_**I know that I didn't actually have him say that he loved her, but it's more than implied. It just didn't really seem like the right moment that he would say it.**_

_**So I hoped you liked it. But as they say, one story ends, another begins. I've also got the first chapter of an idea I had a few months back. Why cant I just finish the ones I've started before I move on? Oh, that's right, because my head is so jampact with ideas that it will explode if I don't get them out! Not even Big Time Lord Brains can handle THIS mess up here!**_


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